Neff Zone November 5 2004

Print Edition: November 5, 2004

PRO GOLFERS ARE IN THE GREEN, NOT JUST ON IT

I’m writing this before the election because this edition of the Neff Zone is about a case of political shenanigans that transcends party allegiances or political preferences. On October 22, a bill euphemistically called the "American Jobs Creation Act of 2004" was signed into law. In reality it’s a monstrosity of a tax giveaway that Republican senator John McCain called "the worst example of the influence of special interests that I have ever seen."

The bill began as a $47 billion package aimed at evening the playing field for around 1,600 American products on the world market. It wound up as a $140 billion (at least), 650 page behemoth that contains 276 pages of special-interest tax breaks. And lest you want to point fingers at Republicans or Democrats, know that the bill passed the house by a 280-141 vote, meaning plenty of our representatives from both sides of the aisle bellied up to the public trough. Taxpayers for Common Sense, a non-partisan watchdog group, says the bill will "blow a crater-sized hole in the federal deficit."

Now, "job creation" arguments can be made on behalf of some of the bill’s provisions. But $27 million for owners of horse and dog race tracks to eliminate taxes on winnings of foreigners who bet on American races? $44 million to makers of Chinese ceiling fans, primarily imported by Home Depot? Another bailout for tobacco farmers to the tune of $10 billion? $336 million to encourage Hollywood movie moguls to make films in the U.S.? $101 million for grandstand expansion at NASCAR race tracks?

The worst, however, is a provision on page 598 of the bill, which is a retirement plan tax exemption for "any plan established or maintained by an organization incorporated on July 2, 1974." Turns out there is only one group in America that qualifies – the PGA Tour, Inc. Yes, professional golfers like Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, and the other few hundred golfers who have and are playing on the professional tour will get a tax break that weekend duffers will certainly never see. I, for one, am really glad I can chip in some of my tax dollars so Tiger and the boys can enjoy their golden years. In some small way it will make up for the horrendous working conditions the touring pros endure.

I covered PGA golf for over 20 years as a member of the Golf Writers of America. Let me tell you about how tough these guys have it. The average touring pro plays in shoes, shirts, hats, and sweaters provided free of charge by sponsors. His golf clubs, golf balls, bag, tees, and gloves are given to him by equipment companies. A caddy carries his clubs, so he never has to lug his own bag. When he arrives at a tournament he’s given the use of a free automobile, has the option to stay free at the home of a member of the host country club, and local high-rollers stumble over each other to buy him drinks and dinner. Out on the course, he plays on fairways better than the greens most of us find on our local courses, and if a blade of grass is out of place a tournament official paints a white circle around it so the pro does not have to hit his ball from an unmanicured spot. And you must be absolutely silent when he gets ready to hit a shot; if your eyes blink he will tune into the slamming noise and have security remove you from the fan gallery.

Television covers every tournament, so every time one of the sponsor logos on his hat/shirt/bag gets on TV, he gets some money (cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching…). If the wind blows enough to make the short sleeves on his golf shirt flap a bit, the announcers will call the playing conditions "brutal." A light rain will elicit descriptions of his "courage."

When he does decide to retire from this grueling existence, he does so at a cushy country club or resort where he’s given the title of "golf ambassador," meaning he basically has to schmooze a few hours a week and play an occasional round with the resort’s whooty-who’s. Oh yeah, and now he gets a huge tax break. If he played 17 years on the PGA Tour and never won a tournament he’ll have a nest egg of about $43 million (according to the Wall Street Journal).

So here we are in America. The average person can’t find affordable health care, Social Security may be in crisis, and prescription drugs for our seniors are going through the roof. On the bright side, Tiger Woods is set for life. Sort of brings new meaning to "your tax dollars at work," doesn’t it.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@yahoo.com