Neff Zone September 24 2004

Print Edition: September 24, 2004

MAKING CADILLAC COOLER IN TWO WORDS

I’ve been following Cadillac’s attempt to become a "COOL City," the state program that gives cities $100,000 grants to figure out how they can become "cool." Basically, from what I’ve seen, is that cities statewide have been spending their COOL Cities grants on outside consultants who look at the big picture. For Cadillac big things like streetscapes, downtown residential options, and citywide business development have been considered.

Looking at the big picture is fine and dandy, but there are all sorts of little things that affect the day-to-day living environment in Cadillac and they need to be addressed before Cadillac can become a cooler place. The good news is that all of these "problems" have simple two-word solutions, and they don’t require a single penny of consultant’s fees.

The clock tower at the corner of Mitchell and Cass has been a wonderful addition to downtown. The architecture is very attractive and it’s a good step toward making downtown more inviting. That said, I have to ask what in the world is going on with the landscaping around the tower? The trees and waist-high growth hide the bottom half of the tower, obscure the information signs, and if you sit under the tower you need a periscope to see pedestrians on the sidewalk. If ever a place called for simple ground cover and flowers this is it; instead we have wildlife habitat. Isn’t the whole point to actually SEE the tower? Shouldn’t the tower symbolically say "Welcome to Cadillac, not "Quiet Please – Pheasants Mating?" I have a two-word solution for this problem: Weed…Whacker.

If you’ve ever tried to turn left from North Boulevard onto southbound M-115 you’ve undoubtedly had to deal with the cement bridge abutment over the canal. When the highway department built the abutment they neglected to understand that seeing oncoming (northbound) traffic through a solid concrete barrier is impossible unless you’re Clark Kent. As a result, you have to stick the front of your car into the northbound lane in order to see around the abutment. When the snow piles up in the winter, it only makes things worse. How many times have you observed an accident or near miss on that corner? It’s a ridiculously dangerous situation. I have a two-word solution for this problem: Sledge…Hammer.

Now that there’s an expressway bypass around Cadillac, traffic coming off M-55 can be routed onto that bypass. Previously, Sunnyside Drive (along the southern shore of Lake Cadillac) served as part of M-55, so the speed limit has been 40 mph. The fact that the shoulders of Sunnyside are also part of the bike path around the lake has always made for a scary mix of cyclists and walkers being inches away from speeding cars. I’ve noticed recently that motorists have been riding low in the curves, on the bike path, and in some cases actually accelerating, NASCAR style. Now that we have an alternate route, it’s time to paint a double yellow no passing line the length of Sunnyside and drop the miles per hour allowed. I have a two-word solution for this problem: Twenty…Five.

As long as we’re on the subject of the bike path around Lake Cadillac, it’s time to deal with the worse part of the path, the section from the old Naval Reserve on Chestnut St. around the corner on Lake St. past the library all the way to the corner of Holly Rd. Basically, this part of the path is narrow at best to non-existent (in front of the library). It’s also the section where rubber-necking drivers looking at the lake seem to veer onto the path more frequently than along other sections of the path. And now that the parking lot across from Blackburn Skate Park is doubling as an NHRA drag racing track, it’s only a matter of time before a family of cyclists pulling a tot in a bugger gets flattened by the next Shirley "Cha-Cha" Muldowney. There’s plenty of room between the streets and the McKellop walkway to put a safe section of bike path, away from traffic, which will also give in-line skaters and skateboarders a place to cruise along the lake. I have a two-word solution for this bike path problem: New…Section.

Finally, Cadillac will never be cool until the Co-Gen smokestack is gone. This metaphorical ultimate obscene gesture being flipped at the city is a blight on the skyscape, an incongruous monstrosity if the city is trying to present itself as a tourism Mecca. It just doesn’t fit. I know, I know, it’s only steam spewing heavenward, but I still remember when Co-Gen was being sold to us that one of the pledges was that the excess steam would be piped into the schools, heating them for free in perpetuity. So, for me and many others with long memories, the steam coming from the stack is an ugly reminder of broken promises. I have a two-word solution for this problem: Dis…Mantle.

These are just a few suggestions, but I’ll bet you have other examples of small improvements that would make Cadillac a cooler place? Send your observations and two-word solutions to neffzone@yahoo.com.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to: neffzone@yahoo.com