Print Edition: Saturday, July 9, 2005

GM, RUNAWAY BRIDES, ROCK AND ROLL

*I’m getting a little fed up with the whining coming from General Motors about its health care costs and pension obligations. Putting aside the fact that historically GM has lavishly over paid its executives and showered them with stock options and golden parachutes, the current problems with the company have only the thinnest link to labor costs. Over the past three years auto industry experts estimate that GM has recalled over 25 million vehicle parts and by the company’s own admission none of those were due to workmanship problems. That pretty much leaves poor design and management as the culprits. Imagine how much health care and how many pensions could have been paid for if GM had not absorbed the cost of building, shipping, and installing 25 million replacement parts. Why the recalls? While other auto companies invest about 10% of their revenues on capital expenditures and research and development, GM only spends 8%, the lowest amount in the industry. Conversely, according to Advertising Age magazine, last year GM spent more on advertising than any other company in the nation -- $4 billion. Now some management genius has determined that GM cars are so nondescript that even when people see a GM car they can’t identify it as a GM brand, so they plan to add two chrome badges with GM logos to all GM cars. The theory is that the badges will help consumers realize that the car they are looking at is made by GM and once they know that they’ll be more likely to buy the car. What all this means is that GM has been producing (what many industry analysts have called) dull an unimaginative cars and instead of spending money on R & D to develop exciting and innovative cars, they’ve elected to spend their money on advertising to convince people to buy the dull cars. An indication of how has this strategy has fared was revealed on Thursday when Moody’s Investors Service announced they may join Standard & Poor’s and Fitch Ratings in relegating GM’s debt to junk bond status. As a loyal GM customer I’ve owned 15 automobiles in my lifetime and 12 of them have been GM vehicles, including the one I’m currently driving, so I’ve kept a close eye on the company for years. Folks, GM’s problem is not a labor problem, it’s a management problem. If the company fails to recognize that fact it’s doomed.

*Want to know why America seems more contentious than ever? Blame the popularity of talk radio. According to a University of Missouri study, radio listeners are the most polarized news consumers and those who listen to show hosted by conservative commentators have their views reinforced by these shows. Conversely, newspaper readers are the least polarized because without the time constraints of radio and TV newspapers are better able to present all sides of an issue.

*Another study just out proved that certain brain cells can react to a particular picture. They figured this out by showing pictures of Halle Berry in her Catwoman outfit. Why do I suspect the brain cells of the men in the study showed the most activity.

*I’m sure you all know the story of the "Runaway Bride," the lame brain who skipped her wedding and fabricated a kidnap story that led police on a wild goose chase through several states. You’ll be happy to know that she’s sold the movie rights to her saga, once again proving that there is no justice in this world. Anyway, in a nice contrast to that miserable escapade comes the story of another reluctant bride in Everett, Washington. Katie Hosking got cold feet twelve days before her wedding day but her parents had already pre-paid for the reception hall and catered dinner to the tune of a non-refundable $9,700. After Katie’s family got over the initial panic, they decided to throw a party anyway, since it was already paid for. So, they invited the staff and residents of a local homeless shelter operated by the Interfaith Association of Snohomish County. The bash went off without a hitch, a DJ kept things hopping into the wee hours for the crowd of over 150 people, and at the end of the evening the leftover food was taken back to the shelter.

*Next time you play the Lotto and mark your betting slip with one of those little red pencils, think about this. You’re playing the Michigan Lotto in a state with the highest unemployment rate in the country, yet the pencil you’re using was manufactured in China as a result of an outsourced contract (paid for by your tax dollars).

*I know that younger readers all think that their generation invented Rock and Roll, but they’re wrong. My generation invented Rock and Roll, and I can prove it. This week marked the 50^th anniversary of the song "Rock Around the Clock" which was number one on the charts for eight weeks and sold 25 million copies. If you know who sang this song and can sing the unmistakable first three lines, then you can perhaps claim Rock founder status. If you can’t, you are a mere pretender. And to all you original boppers out there: "See ya later alligator…After while crocodile."

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com . Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews .

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