Neff Zone Column

Print Edition: August 26, 2006

KUDOS ALL AROUND

With all the bad things in the news these days, it’s a nice change of pace to focus on some of the good things happening all around us. To that end, here are some kudos for developments that are uplifting and/or smile inducing.

The high school sports seasons are upon us and once again our local courts and fields are filled with student athletes doing their level best to compete with each other in a positive and honorable fashion. Kudos to all the athletes and their parents – we all appreciate the time, effort and dedication you put forth.

Take it from an old timer who has played, coached, officiated and broadcast high school sports, this is one of the great times in your life, so enjoy the ride. It’s often said that by the time your tenth high school reunion rolls around everyone was a starter and by the twentieth everyone was a star. When people ask me about my high school football days I respond that "I played two ways – seldom and poorly." Even so, I wouldn’t trade those playing days for a truckload of Atomic Balm. (If you’re old enough to remember Atomic Balm you know what I mean.)

Kudos to local resort, Crystal Mountain, which this week became the first Michigan ski area to make a commitment to renewable wind energy by powering the resort's high-speed chairlift, the Crystal Clipper, entirely with wind power beginning this winter. Crystal is purchasing wind credits to power the chairlift, joining the likes of the University of Michigan and Harvard University in selecting renewable energy as a source for electricity. Crystal's long-term goal is to power the entire resort with 100% renewable energy. The initial step of powering the Crystal Clipper chairlift with wind will alone prevent 174,000 pounds of carbon dioxide pollution from entering the atmosphere each year. Yearly, that's the equivalent of not driving a car 189,956 miles or planting 23 acres of trees.

Kudos to the upper peninsula for being recognized by an AOL travel website for having "the world’s straightest and most boring stretch of road known to man." The two-lane "Seney Stretch" of M-28 between Seney and Shingleton has no bends or turns and has been described as: "Twenty-three miles of straight-as-an-arrow highway through a monotonously uniform region of wetlands and tamarack stands."

Oh yeah? Well, if you think that’s bad, I’ve driven the stretch during the winter when the snow banks are higher than the roof of your car. There’s no cell phone service. If your car breaks down the Yoopers know exactly when to send help – spring!

Kudos to those madcaps at FEMA, who seem to have an uncanny knack for making the rest of us laugh out loud. It seems that they bought 150,000 trailers for Gulf hurricane victims, but the residents of the trailers complained that their residences kept getting burglarized. It turns out that for the locks on 118,000 of the trailers have only fifty different keys, so all a thief needed was a few keys and he could open any trailer. Now the locks are being changed on all 118,000. Your tax dollars at work.

Kudos to the farmers of Afghanistan. They must really have green thumbs because the opium crop for 2005 was up over forty percent from previous records. That’s a yield of 450 tons of opium, over ninety percent of the world’s supply and fifty-two percent of Afghanistan’s gross domestic product. Isn’t it heartening to see democracy in action?

Finally, something that makes growing old worthwhile – you are now being encouraged to be crabby. Yes, scientific research has now proved that after age sixty it is the most disagreeable people who are the smartest. According to findings presented to the American Psychological Association, "…the most agreeable (people) had the lowest IQ’s…more challenging and argumentative people may be giving themselves more of a mental workout needed to keep their minds young."

I’m not sixty yet, but I’ve been telling my friends I am at the shallow end of the sixties pool with one toe in the water to see if I like the temperature. Now I can’t wait! My new mantra will be: "Be happy, get crabby."

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.