Neff Zone Column

Print Edition: December 2, 2006

THE WAR, FOOTBALL AND CAREFUL WISHES

Outta the Zone… As of last Monday the United States has officially been at war in Iraq longer than the country was engaged during World War II (which was 1,347 days). In an interesting development it turns out that Dick Cheney was right when he predicted that eventually the oil pumped out of the ground in Iraq would finance the war. The problem is that the side being financed is the insurgency.

According to a U.S. government report, the insurgency in Iraq is now self- sustaining financially due to illegal activities, in large part the smuggling of oil, to the tune of up to $200 million a year in profits. Basically it works this way: The United States military guards the Iraqi oil fields so oil can be pumped from the ground, then that oil is stolen by the terrorists aided by "corrupt and complicit" Iraqi officials, then that oil is smuggled out of the country and sold on the world market, then the profits are used to pay for the weapons of war to be used against the U.S. military – the same military guarding the oil fields in the first place.

Meanwhile, China, the country whose banks are lending the United States the money this country needs to keep the war going, is gobbling up all the natural resource deals it can in Africa according to an article in USA Today. Essentially, the money China is lending us (which will have to be paid back with interest by our children) is a slick way to make sure the United States stays busy while it (China) ties up the resources for an entire continent for decades to come.

On another front, the recent election brought out a rather ironic case of "be careful what you wish for." It turns out that Michigan Democrats, who gained control of the house, could have probably done the same in the senate but were thwarted by a little known ballot scheme. Republican Secretary of State Terri Lynn Land, as was her right by law, listed all Republican candidates for the senate at the top of the ballot with Democrats below. Studies have shown that being listed first is worth an extra two percentage points in election results. There were several close wins for Republicans that might have turned out differently if there had been a more random ballot listing. Guess where this unfair scheme came from. You guessed it – the Democrats in 1954 under then Secretary of State Richard Austin.

Speaking of "be careful what you wish for," the college football bowl season is upon us. Supposedly, going to a bowl is a "reward" for winning at least six games (which means your team finished .500). Quick, tell me where the following bowls are played: Poinsettia, PapaJohns.com, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces, Pacific Life Holiday, Insight, Meineke Car Care, Chick-fil A, MPC Computers. Now give me a good reason for watching any of these. Then explain to me how having your team go to any of these is a "reward."

The MPC Computers Bowl, for example, will be played in Boise, Idaho on blue artificial turf (yes, their field is bright blue and not green) on New Year’s Eve. One of the teams playing will be Miami of Florida which finished the regular season at 6-6 which got their coach fired. If you’re a kid from the sunshine state how is it a "reward" to leave your friends and family on New Year’s Eve so you can play in Boise on a blue field in the dead of winter?

Naw, we don’t want a national playoff system, like every other college sport. This exciting bowl system is way better and more rewarding.

Still on football, as a graduate of Michigan State and a long-suffering Spartan football fan, I watched with interest as Mark Dantonio was named MSU’s new football coach this week. Here’s my two cents. If Mr. Dantonio wants my support here’s all he has to do in his first meeting with his new squad – tell them to just shut up! I’m so tired of hearing Spartan football players tell us what they want to do, what they need to do, what they plan to do, what they promise to do in the next game. Just shut up and go "do" for a change.

Still doing your Christmas shopping? Bad news, the price has gone up again for the items listed in the "Twelve Days of Christmas." According to PNC Financial Services Group the 364 items in the song will cost you $75,122, up about three grand from last year. Apparently the prices for the partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens, six geese and seven swans didn’t change. Higher wages and health care costs for the lords a-leaping, ladies dancing and pipers piping have increased however.

Want to do something nice for the holidays that won’t cost you a red cent? Go online every day to www.thehungersite.com. Once there all you have to do is click a button and food will be donated by corporate sponsors to feed the world’s hungry. You don’t have to sign up for anything or give out even a sliver of personal information – just click. At the top of the site will also be tabs that will take you to similar sites: Breast Cancer Site, Child Health Site, Literacy Site, Rain Forest Site, and Animal Rescue Site. Six clicks will make you feel really good and it’s fun for the kids too.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.