Neff Zone Column -- December 1, 2007

Print Edition: December 1, 2007

LOOKING FOR A GEEKY GIFT?

By now you’re all shopping for the perfect gift for that special someone. Well, if that person is a geek, and I mean that in the most complimentary sense of the word, finding something they might actually like is not all that easy. There’s a good chance they are about a hundred gadgets ahead of you on the geek-o-meter scale, so finding something unique is mostly a losing proposition. Have no fear, however, because I’m here to help.

Some background first. When my mother, Big Rita, passed away several years ago I became the oldest living Neff. As such, I now have the responsibility to carry on Big Rita’s tradition – on Christmas every boy should have a toy ("boy" because there are no Neff sisters). The rules of the tradition are fairly simple: The toy must be inexpensive and have no other purpose other than to entertain. So, every Christmas it’s my charge to come up with something for my baby brothers, Big Rob and Big Dave. This is complicated by the fact that Big Dave has been "Captain Gadget" ever since he was 5 years-old and used a dozen extension cords to string together every lamp in our house so they would all go on at once.

That new fangled Internet thing has made my life easier in recent years because I stumbled upon my new favorite geek shopping site, www.thinkgeek.com. Think Geek has a vast array of items you won’t find anywhere else, mainly because some are so dorky only a geekophile could love them.

This year I’m torn between three items. One is an Electric Bubble Wrap Keychain. Everyone likes to pop the bubbles on bubble wrap and this keychain has eight little bubbles you can pop to your heart’s content. As a bonus, on every one hundredth pop you get a goofy sound like a dog barking or a rude noise (guess what that might be).

Another contender is an Annoy-a-tron, which is a tiny magnetic gizmo you can hide somewhere. Every 2 to 8 minutes it emits an annoying beep meant to drive other people crazy.

The leading candidate, though, is the Marshmallow Blaster. This is an air pressure gun that can shoot a marshmallow up to 40 feet. The beauty of this is you can bonk someone and it’s tough for them to be too angry because they get to keep the marshmallow.

Now, all of these serve no useful purpose other than hilarity, so they are perfect for my brothers and I’ll bet the geek in your life would love them too. However, if you’re determined to get a semi-useful item, how about Think Geek’s USB Drink Chiller and Warmer. This is a hot/cold plate that is powered by connecting to a computer’s usb port. Then, while the user is on the computer, they can place a drink on the gizmo and keep the beverage chilled or warmed. This is actually pretty nifty, even for non-geeks.

Also good for both geeks and non-geeks, albeit not something you can technically open on Christmas morning, is Carbonite. This is an online service that backs up all your computer data on their servers, so if your computer crashes or is destroyed you won’t lose a single document, picture, or music file. I’ve put information about this service, which I use myself, at www.neffzone.com/carbonite.htm.

With the geeks taken care of you can then turn your attention to another hard-to-shop-for category, the senior citizen. I know from whence I speak because, as the saying goes, "I are one." Two things my kids know about me: 1) I have pretty much everything I want, and 2) You can bet the farm that I’ll watch the Weather Channel every day. It’s my observation that seniors love the Weather Channel, which is why it’s sometimes called "MTV for old people."

Just in time for Christmas comes the absolutely perfect gift for a guy like me (hint…hint) – the Weather Channel Smooth Jazz CD. You can go to the Weather Channel store http://store.weather.com and there you’ll find the CD, which is a 12-song collection of the most popular tunes played during "Weather on the 8’s." Okay, so this may be a bit geeky, in a weatherish sort of way, but it’s better than getting a tie. Hmmmm, come to think of it, I wonder if they have Weather Channel ties?

Once you have your shopping completed your next task will be to keep the kids at bay until Christmas morning. As in the past, I’ve put together a special holiday web page with all sorts of family friendly websites to visit, games to play, and activities to do. It’s at www.neffzone.com/holidays.htm.

While the kids are there, you might show them how to do something nice for others and the best part is that it won’t cost a dime. At the bottom of the page is a banner for The Hunger Site www.thehungersite.com and other charitable organizations.

Click on the The Hunger Site and from there you can click another button that donates food to the hungry. The donation is paid for by corporate sponsors. You don’t have to sign up for anything or give out any personal information, just click and someone gets fed.

At the top of The Hunger Site is a list of other sites that do similar charitable contributions: Breast Cancer, Child Health, Literacy, Rainforest, and Animal Rescue. Six clicks and you’ve done several good deeds that day.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.