Print Edition: December 20, 2008
LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS GIFTS
Well, kidlings, Christmas is almost here. Are you still scurrying around trying to finish your shopping? Are there people on your list for whom you just cannot seem to find that perfect gift? Well, fear not, I’m here to help with some sure-fire suggestions.
Do you have a gadget geek on your list? What better gizmo could there be than one that turns thin air into drinkable water? The WaterMill is a new home appliance that can turn outdoor air into nearly 13 quarts of fresh water every day. It has the look of a futuristic air conditioner and the ability to condense, filter and sterilize water for about 3 cents per quart.
Element Four, the company that manufactures the WaterMill, estimates that its machine can convert between 10 percent and 40 percent of vapor into liquid water, depending on the relative humidity. The 13-quart capacity maximizes efficiency. Marketing data suggested that the typical family uses about half that amount of drinking water per day.
Now, the WaterMill is a tad expensive at $1,299, but if the price is a bit hard to swallow at least you’ll have plenty of water with which to wash it down. Go to www.elementfour.com/home to see this dandy gift.
Even though the elections are past us, you may have someone on your gift list who is really into politics. If that person is interested in collectibles, how about a Sarah Palin Action Figure, moose sold separately. There are three to choose from for only $29.95 at www.herobuilders.com/08.htm. Joe the Plumber figures are also available.
For the politically inclined with a more utilitarian bent, how about something that is both unique and useful all at the same time – the Hillary Clinton Bowl Buddy toilet brush for $19.95 at www.theoriginalbowlbuddy.com/firstlady.html.
And of course, anyone interested in current events would love to have an Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich T-shirt. Choose from several styles, including the "Senate Seat For Sale" and "I gave Rod Blagojevich a bribe and all I got was this lousy tee shirt" models. These are a mere $22.50 at www.zazzle.com/rod+blagojevich+tshirts.
Got any guitar heroes on your list? Hey, I’ve been listening to heavy metal since the 60s (which explains a lot about me, doesn’t it, but I digress…) and I can assure you that no one can ever be a real guitar hero unless they have multiple tattoos. The thing about real tattoos, though, is that they tend to stay on your body for a while – like forever. Not a problem if you give your would-be guitar god a pair of tattoo sleeves. These are nylon sleeves that you can slip on to make it look like your whole arm(s) have shoulder-to-wrist tats. Then when you tire of strutting around the living room as a guitar hero you can remove your tattoos and return to your real life as a doctor, soda jerk, or columnist. Just $19.95 a pair at www.vampfangs.com/Tinsley-Tattoo-Sleeves-s/9.htm.
Finally, a two-fer, something that can be enjoyed immediately and then again in the future. This suggestion came earlier in the week from officials in the coastal Peruvian province of Callao. They suggest that the perfect Christmas gift is a guinea pig.
First of all, on Christmas morning who wouldn’t like a guinea pig? They are cute, furry, and pretty laid back. (Our family has had two guinea pigs, both named Harvey, and they were pretty cool. Every time we opened the refrigerator Harvey #1 would whistle until we brought him some lettuce.)
Ah, but I know what you’re thinking: "What do we do with the goofy guinea pig once when the kids get tired of it?" Not a problem according to the Peruvians. They say the Andean rodent is a low-cost, low-fat alternative to a traditional turkey or roast pork for Christmas dinner. (I am not making this up.) Guinea pigs can feed seven or eight for about $3.20, Callao official Mario Sanguinity told Associated Press Television. "The idea is to give the people a tasty, economical option," he said. "The animal is rich in protein and has zero cholesterol as well.
In Peru, guinea pig is a stable source of income for farmers and holds an elevated place in Andean folklore. A painting of the Last Supper hanging in the principal cathedral of the ancient Inca capital of Cuzco depicts Christ and the 12 disciples dining on guinea pig. This is just a guess, but I’ll bet it tastes just like chicken.
So, now all your gift worries are over, plus I’ve solved your dilemma about what to serve for Christmas dinner. Just one more reminder, for a nifty Holiday Web Page go to www.neffzone.com/holidays.htm. There you’ll find all sorts of activities to keep children busy, including the NORAD Santa Tracker that shows Santa’s flight path on Christmas Eve. Happy Christmas to all!
Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.
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