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Print Edition: February 9, 2008

Hang onto your gas tanks, here we go again

Outta the Zone… Here we go again. Exxon Mobil Corp. has shattered its own record as the world's most profitable publicly traded corporation with a better-than-ever revenue for 2007. Exxon's net income rose 3% to $40.6 billion in 2007, surpassing its 2006 record of $39.5 billion. By comparison Chevron only posted an $18.7 billion profit.

Exxon's and Chevron's big profits "come at the cost of an economy tipping into recession," says Judy Dugan, research director for the Foundation for Taxpayer and Consumer Rights. "While Exxon makes the largest corporate profit by any corporation ever, families pay $60 and more for a gas station fill-up."

With this in mind, what do we have to look forward to this summer? Experts are predicting pump prices will soar as refiners and gas stations switch from winter to summer-blended fuels, a process which could push the average national price to a record $3.50 a gallon or more by June.

And why will this happen? Well, there’s a shortage of alkylate, a little known gasoline additive. The alkylate shortage has become the most important driver of summer gas prices, says Doug Leggate, an analyst at Citigroup Global Markets. "Supply of alkylate will set the price of summer gasoline - not inventory levels," he says.

Now guess who produces alkylate. Bingo! It’s the oil refiners themselves. Gee, I wonder why they haven’t produced more, given the fact that they’ve known they are going to need alkylate this summer. Certainly money can’t be the problem because they have all that lucre from the record profits. I know, let’s give them a big tax break and then maybe they’ll "reduce" the gasoline prices to $3.49 per gallon because they care so much about us and feel our pain.

*Speaking of energy, did you know that Iceland gets 26% of its electricity from geothermal plants? The United States, however, is the world leader in geothermal development, with plants in several Western states. Nevada has even been called the "Saudi Arabia of geothermal." The point is that the technology exists right now to tap into the energy being produced by the earth’s core.

A study by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that the amount of geothermal power that could be recovered represents almost 3,000 times the amount of energy currently consumed in the U.S. It’s clean, efficient, not affected by drought or fungus (like growing crops for ethanol), and is right under us in our own country. What the heck are we waiting for?

*Hey, did you see the Dutch study out this week that shows the cost of providing health care for the sick and obese is actually less than providing health care for the healthy and fit? The reason is that sick people die sooner. Basically, someone spent a lot of guilders or euros to determine that it costs less to provide health care for dead people than it does for living people. Somehow I just have to get in the business of conducting studies.

*Also on the health front, apparently it’s not too healthy to patronize Chuck E. Cheese restaurants. A couple of weeks ago at the Flint, MI Chuck’s a fight broke out at a birthday party for a five year-old. Eighty people were involved in the brawl. In 2007, police were called 36 times to break up fights at the establishment. Not to single out Flint, similar fisticuffs have happened at Chuck E. Cheeses in Illinois and California. What the heck are they putting in those pizza pies? Momma Mia!

*Summer is coming, even if it sure does not seem like it if you look out your window today. When it does come, though, here’s a "gotta have it" for golfers. The Cleveland V-14 golf bag has what it calls "club count technology." When you get to the course you actually turn the bag on and the bag counts your clubs. If you move the bag during your round and all your clubs are not in the bag a chirp will alert you that you’ve left a club behind. Only $349 (batteries and adult beverages not included).

*This time of year is tax time, so all of us are acutely aware of our income statements, bookkeeping, and receipts. That’s why it’s so sad to learn that the Detroit Public Schools paid $320,279 to a mystery company called Definitive Concepts. No one knows where the money went or what services were provided. The company’s address is listed at a location where no such business exists and the only way to contact the company is at a post office box. Detroit’s teachers complain that they don’t have even the most basic supplies in their buildings, like toilet paper and textbooks. $300 grand would buy a lot of Charmin.

*If something like that gives you a headache, you might want to check the label on the bottle of pain relievers. China now makes one-third of all the world’s acetaminophen. What makes this scary is that according to industry experts, Chinese pharmaceutical companies are rarely inspected by U.S. drug regulators. There are 714 plants in China licensed to make drugs for the U.S. market and according to the FDA only 13 inspections were conducted last year. Geez, I wonder if anyone at the Detroit Schools has the name of a company who could do the job?

*Finally, this is Neff Zone column number 200, which is sort of a milestone. That’s a lot of words. My unofficial polling service tells me that half of my readers think I’m a blithering idiot, while the other half pretty much thinks "even a blind dog finds a bone once in a while." Regardless or which camp you’re in you have my sincere thanks for reading, responding, and tolerating. As KISS frontman Paul Stanley shouts at the end of every concert: "You’ve been a dynamite audience and you deserve to give yourself a round of applause."

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.