Neff Zone Column -- March 1, 2008

Print Edition: March 1, 2008

Nothing but the facts

It’s time to dive into the crate beneath my desk again to see what illuminating tidbits have accumulated. These factoids are just what you need to impress your friends and entertain your family. So, if I may paraphrase Joe Friday of the old Dragnet series, ‘Here are the facts, nothing but the facts."

*Michigan’s economy is stagnant, that is unless you’re in the lobbying business. According to the Michigan Campaign Finance Network lobbyists spent $32.1 million last year, up 6% from 2006. That number does not include travel spending of less than $700 or gifts below $53. With 148 state legislators that’s $217,000 per legislator.

*The Michigan high school basketball tournaments are in full swing and with both the boys and girls playing at the same time having enough officials to referee the games is a scramble. One of the officials assigned to a district game by the Michigan High School Athletic Association may have trouble getting to his game, however, because he’s dead. Well, with so many games and so few refs, the MHSAA had to dig up someone.

*The fastest growing high school sport nationwide is bowling, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations. Nineteen states have varsity teams and more students participate in bowling than in hockey.

*According to the latest figures, each year the U.S. Government spends around $6,700 on behalf of every man, woman and child to finance the nation’s health care expenditures. That means for a family of four, $26,800 is spent by the federal government. Now we learn that Michigan spends the equivalent of $6,000 per person on health care obligations. That’s a federal/state total of $50,800 being spent on behalf of every family of four in the state. Explain to me again why we don’t have every person in the sate covered by a health insurance policy. A family of four can get a really good policy for around $1000 per month. Wouldn’t that be one-fourth of the cost we are already expending?

*If you want to get plastic surgery, here are the going rates according to the American Board of Plastic Surgery: Nose reshaping, $3,841; liposuction, $2,750; eyelids, $2,877; tummy tuck, $5,063. (Brain transplants for presidential candidates, priceless.)

*There is only one veteran from World War I still alive in the United States, 107 year-old Frank Buckles of Charles Town, West Virginia. Even more amazing is that there are only 14 WWI vets still alive in the entire world.

*Sometime this year the English language will hit the one million word mark. There’s actually an organization that keeps track of things like this, the Global Language Monitor. They really need to come to northern Michigan to see if we can pitch in because we use phrases that do not actually exist in the English language, like "have went," "have aten," "we’ve did," and "I seen." (The correct phrases are: have gone, have eaten, we’ve done, and I saw.)

*According to a USA Today article, the Transportation Safety Administration is having trouble retaining its airport screeners. After the TSA invests 180 hours of training in a prospective screener, one in five quit after a very short time. The TSA can’t figure out why this happens, but the article notes that the pay rate for an airport screener is so low their families meet qualifications for some federal assistance programs.

*Of all the food items used to combat hunger worldwide, I’ll bet you didn’t know that the number one item is something called Plumpy’nut. It’s made from peanuts, vegetable oil, milk powder, vitamins and minerals and comes in a paste. Plumpy’nut requires no refrigeration or cooking and lasts for two years. UNICEF calls it "the magical product." Don’t look for it at the grocery store, though, because you can’t get it in North America.

*Obesity in America is a bigger problem than you might think. It’s now affecting morgues. It seems that autopsy tables used in the past are not adequate for today’s plus-sized cadavers. The newer tables are now 3 feet wide, 7 feet long, and can support 1,000 pounds.

*Finland scores at the top in most of the major international tests given to students. In Finland, the school day is six hours long and there’s a 15-minute recess every hour. Reading skills are not introduced until age seven.

*Americans don’t know how to relax. Harris Interactive reports that last year 438 million vacation days earned by American workers went unused. Those unused days were worth around $60 billion.

The University of Michigan found something interesting growing in its Matthaei Botanical Gardens – four marijuana plants. Officials said they have no evidence to suggest students were involved. (It might be informative to see if there has been a recent increase in signing up for botany classes.)

*Finally, just thought you’d like to know, unless you’re in the country legally you can’t get a driver’s license in Mexico. "When it comes to foreigners, we’re a little more strict here," said Alejandro Ruiz of the Mexico Automobile Association.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.