Neff Zone Column -- April 11, 2009

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Print Edition: April 11, 2009

THEY SAID IT

Sometimes what I have to say is of little importance. That does not mean, however, that I don’t know an interesting quote when I see it. There are all sorts of thought provoking statements being made every day and I know when to stand aside and let others have a say.

Some of these gems are where you least expect them. For example, in these trying times I often think of a quote from former New York Yankees catcher and manager Yogi Berra: "We may be lost, but we’re making good time." That about sums up the economy right now, doesn’t it?

Others have made observations about the economy recently. In the Detroit Free Press, columnist Mitch Albom said: "You can’t cut off your manufacturing arm and expect to build. You can’t outsource everything and expect to lead the world. And you can’t treat blue-collar industry as a bunch of dumb rivetheads who need government to run them, while allowing the banking world to do as it pleases with taxpayer money. It wasn’t the auto industry that shot a hole in the side of America."

Along those same lines, my brother Big Rob, responded to an article about blue collar workers in the Flint Journal and had this comment published: "In the 60s, General Motors called me a valued employee. In the 70s, GM referred to me the best production worker in the world. In the 80s, I became a team member that was going to change the way union and management worked together. The 90s saw me as being a big piece of the puzzle in solving how GM was going to become more competitive. Now both my company and a president representing a party I voted for all my life call me a debt that needs to be cleared off the books. Nice to know I'm not even a human being anymore."

Pretty dire stuff, eh? Well, I can make you feel even more depressed. According to icasualties.org, America has literally become more dangerous than a combat zone. On March 29, incidents in California and North Carolina resulted in 14 deaths by gunfire. "Just those two incidents easily surpassed the U.S. military death toll in Iraq for all of March, a month that saw nine American troops killed. Last Friday, 14 people were gunned down in New York. On that same day, one U.S. soldier was killed in Iraq."

Enough of the doom and gloom, you say. Okay by me; there are plenty of humorous or oddball quotes out there, too.

For instance, after being charged with drunk driving, Scott Allan Witmer of Easton, Penn offered the judge his defense. State laws don't apply to him, Witmer said, because "I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania, and therefore I’m a sovereign country who can't be prosecuted." The Judge was not convinced and ordered a Witmer held to undergo psychological evaluations. To which Witmer responded: "I'm not insane," Witmer said. "I've already had like five of them done in prison."

Or how about the article in the Park Hill Daily Journal in Missouri, which reported Missouri state Sen. Kevin Engler sponsored a bill calling for the death penalty for littering. In doing so he was quoted as saying: "I think killing one or two of them would be a fine first start and then the rest would fall in line. Dumb rednecks are teaching their children to be white trash by throwing refuse out car windows." Later Engler announced he was "doing this tongue in cheek" and withdrew the bill to "make it a little tougher." When criticized for calling people "rednecks" and "white trash," Engler said, "The only people I called names are the ones doing it. If they are offended, good."

Golfers will love this one. Gary Player, age 73, is playing in his 52^nd Masters Tournament this weekend and it will be his last. Commenting about his golf game at this stage of his life, Player said: "I’m hitting the ball so short now I can hear it land. The hole is getting to be the size of a Bayer aspirin."

Ah, these are trying times indeed. On the one hand things are so bad that you hate to open a newspaper or click on the news. On the other hand there seems to still be enough humor around so we have a fighting chance at keeping our sanity.

You know what Yogi says about this…"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.