Neff Zone Column -- August 29, 2009

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Print Edition: August 29, 2009

THESE OIL GUYS ARE SLICK

Hey, when was the last time you had to listen to someone complaining about $4 per gallon gasoline? With all the flapdoodle about health care legislation what’s going on in the oil industry has sort of faded into the background, hasn’t it?

As readers of this column know, I’m always interested in what our buddies at Exxon and Chevron are doing, so an article this week on the business Web site www.Bloomberg.com caught my attention. Catalog this in the "slick" file.

According to commentator Eric Pooley, a former editor of Fortune Magazine, "The world’s biggest publicly traded oil company wants you to believe that it actually supports the fight against global warming. But its tactics, which have been unfolding on opposite sides of the globe, are just another recipe for cooking the planet in three easy steps...The oil giant used to bankroll scientists who claimed all that stuff about starving polar bears and melting ice caps was just mumbo jumbo, but (that) won’t block climate legislation forever. So now Exxon is playing a more subtle game. It spent $15 million on Washington lobbyists in the first half of this year -- more than all the solar and wind companies combined. And it has created its new three-step program, which is based on bad economics instead of shady science."

Step one in this effort is to offer frightening numbers about mandatory caps on carbon emissions. Using "institutes" and think tanks that the oil industry funds, their statistics show that if carbon emissions are capped millions of Americans will lose their jobs and gasoline will soar to $4 per gallon by 2035. (How they can predict $4 per gallon in 2035 with any accuracy is questionable, unless you assume that gas prices have been artificially manipulated all along and will still be manipulated in 2035.)

Step two is to organize demonstrations by "ordinary citizens" against carbon caps claiming it’s a "hidden tax" being foisted on duped taxpayers. (Of course the definition of "ordinary" might be a tad flexible given the memo by American Petroleum Institute president Jack Gerard who, according to the Bloomberg article, ‘asked the group’s member companies to send employees to the rallies to "focus our message" against "Waxman-Markey-like legislation, tax increases, and energy access limitations." He also asked them to keep it quiet.’ In addition to Exxon, Chevron, ConocoPhillips and Anadarko Petroleum are involved in this.)

Step three is to offer a seemingly sensible alternative policy. That’s what it did in Australia earlier this month when Exxon called for replacing cap and trade with a carbon tax. (In Australia the company thinks taxing citizens is a dandy idea.)

Now here’s the slick part, according to Pooley. "Exxon is demonstrating against a climate bill in the U.S. because it is supposedly a hidden tax, and on the other side of the globe it is lobbying for a tax." Why are they doing opposite things? "The cap requires economy-wide emissions reductions, and the tax doesn’t. Exxon doesn’t want to do business in a world where cuts in carbon dioxide are mandatory. It would prefer to pay a modest tax and keep on polluting."

Pretty smooth, eh? Oh yeah, either way this thing plays out you’ll get taxed. The only question right now is if Exxon and the other oil companies get to dictate what that tax will be. Catalog this in the "you get what you pay for" folder in the lobbying file cabinet. As my late father, Big Don, used to say: "Energy prices won’t go down until the oil companies can figure out how to charge us for the sun."

Note: Ticket sales locations for the big KISS tribute concert featuring nationally acclaimed KISS tribute band Mr. Speed are being expanded. In addition to Toy Town, The Music Station, McGuire’s Resort, Thirsty’s, and The UPS Store, the Cadillac High School Athletics office is now open for business. Concert tickets will also be on sale at the first Cadillac Viking home football game on September 3 at the Viking Boosters merchandise table.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.