Neff Zone Column -- March 28, 2009

Print Edition: March 28, 2009

MONEY AND WATER

Outta the Zone…With all of us scrimping a bit and watching our pennies the old saying "you get what you pay for" has never been more true. Who among us is not looking for ways to make our dollars really count? That’s why it’s good to know that at least one group in Michigan is spending record amounts in an effort to get a big bang for their bucks, thereby setting an example for the rest of us. I’m speaking, of course, about Michigan lobbyists, who spent a record $34 million in 2008 to influence Michigan’s elected officials. The Michigan Campaign Finance Network says most of this seed money was spent on salaries, food and drink. Even this is a bit deceptive because lobbyists don’t have to report expenditures if they spend less than $53 per month on food or entertainment or less than $701 on lodging while cozying up to an individual politician. (This means a lobbyist can spend up to $9048 per year on an individual politician and never have to report a red cent of it.) By the way, R.J. Reynolds Tobacco led corporation lobbying expenditures with $470,832. For a list of the top 200 top spending lobbyists, go to http://mcfn.org/pdfs/reports/Top200MILobbyists_2008.pdf

Numbers like this might drive an average citizen to drink, but even that may be priced out of the equation according to the recent World Water Development Report. Says the report: "There is a continuously increasing demand for finite water resources for which there are no substitutes." The report predicts a global water crisis which could lead to "political insecurity," which is a fancy way of saying "water wars." Gee, I wonder where there’s an abundance of fresh water and who could benefit from controlling same? I have it! Michigan touches four Great Lakes and the total water in all of the Great Lakes is roughly 4 quadrillion gallons (4,000,000,000,000,000). Message to all those companies who need water but left Michigan and set up shop in arid climes – if I may paraphrase a popular character from the Seinfeld series – "No sips for you!"

Speaking of water, I closed my ski season with a trek to Lutsen Mountains, 90 miles north of Duluth, Minnesota. Lutsen is right on the shores of Lake Superior, a lake which holds 10% of all the fresh water in the world. I don’t want to say that Lutsen is really "up there" in the north woods, but while I was there wolves killed four deer at the resort. One kill was right in the middle of a downhill ski slope and the three other kills were on the cross country trail. Let me tell you, it’s a bit disconcerting to be riding up a chair lift and see the ski patrol hauling a dead deer off a ski trail, leaving a smear of blood behind. I asked what they do with the carcasses and they told me they toss them in the woods next to the trails so the wolves can come back and finish "dinner" at a later time. After that every time I skied down the slope I had the strange feeling that I was being sized up as an appetizer…

On the trip home I stopped at a store and bought a bottle of water. It was the Ice Mountain brand and the label said the water was from the "springs" in Evart and Rodney. The picture on the bottle was of a range of snow capped peaks, which I assume were the Ice Mountains that surround the springs. It made me sad because once again I let a ski season slip by without skiing down the Ice Mountains. Next year my goal is to travel to Evart and enjoy the slopes…

Even if I do travel to Rodney for some skiing next winter, I can promise you that it won’t be in the new car from Tata Motors in India. The Nano is cheap to be sure, just $2,200, but according to company officials there have been "clever compromises" made so the price can be so low. Things like antilock brakes, comfortable seats, air bags, cargo space, and a heater are not part of the package. Heck, there’s only one windshield wiper on the car. Now, the Nano, which is sort of like a motorized roller skate, can go 55 mph, plenty fast to do major damage if it plunged into the average Michigan pothole. And the quality workmanship speaks for itself. Tata workers get a whole $3000 per year, which means they can’t even afford a motorbike on which to get to work, let alone one of the Nanos they produce. Says a company official: "We bus them to work everyday." Wow, I’ll bet that inspires company loyalty and an intense attention to detail…

Finally, most regular readers know I like to do a lot of walking for exercise. The following was sent to me by a neighbor: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me…I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing…Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate…We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.