Neff Zone Column -- May 16, 2009

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Print Edition: May 16, 2009

INTERESTING NUMBERS

I’m not a numbers guy. I do not have the numbers gene that allows me to remember anything containing a number. I don’t know anyone’s phone number, I can’t remember my own brother’s zip code, and I’m not allowed to touch the family checkbook. Sometimes, though, numbers can be pretty interesting, even if it takes every scintilla of my brain power to make sense of them.

Right now, I’m involved in the Nielsen television ratings. They sent me a booklet in which I’m recording everything I watch on TV for a week. Those numbers will be plugged into a national database and based on that current television shows will either be renewed or cancelled. It’s an important job which is why the Nielsen company is paying me a salary commensurate to my talents -- $1. There’s a number for you to digest. People like me all over America have the power to ax your favorite shows and make or break television careers. To make sure we’re all serious about this responsibility we’re paid $1 for a week’s work. Let’s see….how many weeks will I have to keep this job before I’ll have enough to pay my cable bill?

Here’s another numbers question related to television ratings. What do Arena Football, the Little League World Series, and pro bowling have in common? They all average higher television ratings than the National Hockey League playoffs. The NHL is only viewed by 0.3% of U.S. households during the regular season and 0.5% during the playoffs (about half the ratings of pro bowling). Apparently, being on Versus instead of ESPN is not a smart move. Trust me on this; I get paid a big salary to know these things.

On the health front this week came some disturbing numbers. There may be a reason so many health research reports seem to be contradictory. A newly released study from the University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center says nearly 1/3 of all cancer related research that's published in well known journals involves a conflict of interest. In 17-percent of health research papers published the effort was funded by the industry being studied and 12-percent of papers had one or more study authors who were an industry employee. Researchers also found randomized trials were more likely to have positive findings when there was some conflict of interest involved. This falls under the heading of "you get what you pay for."

Speaking of getting what you pay for, I’m sure you’ve heard the tired arguments of auto industry critics that blame all the red ink of GM on union contracts. Industry figures stated by the Detroit Free Press indicate that in 1998 GM had 39,000 salaried employees, 630,000 UAW workers, produced 8.19 million vehicles, and made a $2.5 billion profit. In 2008, the company had cut to 29,000 salaried employees, 243,000 UAW workers, produced 8.35 million vehicles, and lost $30 billion. So, in ten years GM cut their UAW workforce by almost two-thirds and that workforce actually produced more cars than it did ten years earlier. Despite this obvious monumental increase in efficiency, GM executives still managed to "lead" the company to the brink of disaster. Wow, GM sure got its money’s worth when it came to executive compensation, eh?

Oh yeah, and another thing. At the same time GM was asking the U.S. government, the UAW retiree health trust fund, and a variety of bondholders to take GM stock in lieu of cash payments, six top executives were selling off more than 200,000 shares of the automakers. The six bozos were: Former GM Vice Chairman and product chief Bob Lutz; Lutz’s successor, Thomas Stephens; GM North America President Troy Clarke; Chief Information Officer Ralph Szygenda; manufacturing chief Gary Cowger and head of European operations Carl-Peter Forster. I don’t care if it’s legal, if it’s on the up-and-up, and if it’s a squeaky clean deal. Jumping off the ship while asking others to remain on board is just plain disgusting.

On the topic of spending money, the numbers that drive me absolutely batty relate to sinking dollars into Pakistan and Afghanistan. President Obama is making these snakepits his own war targets and now wants $7.5 billion more for Pakistan and really has no concrete plans for accounting for how the money will be spent. The problem is that we already have gone down this road when President Bush spent $12 billion the same way. I agree with the senators who want to make sure the money does not end up in some Swiss bank account. At a time when domestic automakers are being made to account for every penny of government bailout money, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that the same demands be made regarding an aid package for Pakistan.

In terms of why it’s so tough to get anything done in Pakistan, here are some numbers that could be classified as grassroots. A Pakistani policeman gets paid $200 per month, is issued substandard weapons with only one-quarter of the ammunition they need, and if they are killed in action their family gets $6,250 in theoretical death benefits (theoretical because many families never actually receive the benefits).

On the other hand, a Taliban fighter gets $440 a month, health care benefits, modern weaponry with all the ammo they can use, and $20,000 in death benefits, all of which is paid on a timely basis, according to USA Today.

In simple terms (putting all the religious and political considerations aside), working for the Taliban is (bottom line) a much better job. What the U.S. needs to do is have GM executives infiltrate the Taliban. They’ll bankrupt the operation by the end of the month.

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.