Neff Zone Column -- May 24, 2009

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Print Edition: May 23, 2009

EDUCATION MATTERS AND OTHER STUFF

Outta the Zone…If you’ve ever wondered if education matters, you may want to check out the new Web site called The Common Good Forecaster at www.liveunited.org/forecaster. This is a joint project of the United Way and the American Human Development Project and it’s pretty interesting. For example, you can click on Michigan and then Wexford County and by using the slides on the left side of the site’s page you can calculate how different data impacts the statistics. Slide the education level up and down to see what would happen if more or fewer people in the county held college degrees, for example. Very thought provoking.

…In case you’re wondering what GM is up to my brother, Big Rob, is keeping tabs. He sent me an article from the Shanghai Daily (China). You’ll be proud to know that GM has opened its eighth vehicle plant in China. This "has been a big year in terms of expansion" said Kevin Wale, GM China's president. He made the comments at the opening of the car maker's new $390 million plant. He added, "We are "building capacity for the long term and we are very comfortable with what we are doing." The new factory will be able to make as many as 150,000 vehicles a year, using a two-shift system. GM has no plans to shed workers in China, according to Wale, which ought to make displaced American workers feel just peachy.

…In terms of American jobs in general, it’s also mind-numbing to know that despite more than 84,000 high-tech layoffs in the first quarter of 2009, by late April U.S. employers had filed more than 45,000 new petitions to hire foreign workers. According to USA Today, what this means is that U.S. companies have spent millions of dollars trying to hire foreigners rather than investing in American workers to fill American jobs. In an editorial they observed, "We have developed an unhealthy reliance on foreign workers to fill our science and technology needs." Now you know why the last option on a tech support call is "press 5 for English."

…Hey, do you watch all the CSI variations on TV, the ones where they solve all the cases in a half-hour using an array of high-tech wizbangs? Ever wonder why there’s not a CSI Michigan? Well, the state had to shut down the Detroit Police crime lab because of ineptitude, which added 20,000 cases a year to the State Police crime lab which already serves 650 local police agencies with a case load of 10,000 per year. According to the Detroit Free Press, technicians are now working 55 hours a week, which means processing evidence from a typical case in which DNA testing is required takes six to eight months. In television time, that means with commercial breaks an episode of CSI Michigan would last about a year. I don’t think my DVR has that recording setting.

…I see the University of Michigan has added Delaware State, a I-AA school, to its 2009 football schedule. If that’s not laughable enough, Delaware State in order to come to the Big House, will actually be forfeiting a home game against a conference opponent, North Carolina A&T, which will affect their entire league’s standings. DSU doesn’t care because will make $550,000 from this one road game, more than they could make in a whole season of home games. Michigan’s intent is to buy a victory, which helps in the phony BCS rankings. No word yet if the Little Sisters of the Poor are available for the 2010 schedule.

…This just in – U.S. Merchant Marines who survived German U-boat attacks during World War II will be getting monthly benefits from the government from now on. Moving in lightning fashion, the U.S. House of Representatives rushed the measure to passage last week. Of course, it might have meant more to the 250,000 merchant mariners who served during WW II if the measure had been passed a tad earlier, given the fact that fewer than 10,000 are still alive. I guess the legislators were too busy voting to bail out AIG and Wells Fargo and other stuff for the past seventy years.

…Going on vacation this summer? You might want to avoid Yellowstone National Park. It seems that two workers there were fired after a live webcam caught them urinating into the Old Faithful geyser. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be anywhere near the place when the geyser erupts. To reverse a popular truism, what goes down must come back up.

…On the hair care front, a subject of considerable interest to me and all eight of the remaining follicles on my dome, a Chicago company is marketing hair products inspired by fired former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. The shampoo and conditioner is being sold under the brand name Blago. Only in America would you take a poster boy for sliminess and link him with a product usually associated with cleanliness and then give the product a name that (when said aloud) sounds like someone throwing up. Is this a great country or what?

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Comments to neffzone@gmail.com. Read Neff Zone columns online at www.neffzone.com/cadillacnews.