YOU CAN'T MAKE UP THIS STUFF

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- DECEMBER 4, 2021

Well kidlings, it's time for another round of "You Can't Make Up This Stuff," the game based on my brother Big Rob's theory that reality is stranger than any fiction. Big Rob is a music fan, so we begin with something from that realm. 

 

After over twenty years as Billboard's greatest Hot 100 song of all time, Chubby Checker's "The Twist" has been dethroned. The Weeknd's "Blinding Lights" is now in the top spot. The rest of the top five are: “Smooth” by Santana featuring Rob Thomas, “Mack the Knife” by Bobby Darin, and “Uptown Funk!” by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars. (https://www.billboard.com/music/chart-beat/the-weeknd-blinding-lights-all-time-hot-100-1235001770/)

 

In my humble opinion, this is no big deal. Chubby Checker was a late comer to “The Twist” in 1960. A better version was written and released in 1958 by Hank Ballard and the Midnighters. (https://youtu.be/2qoY93CkwlA)

 

Words have been in the news. It will come as no surprise to you that Merriam-Webster's 2021 word of the year is “vaccine.” That makes sense. However, another dictionary, the Collins Dictionary, has a different “word” of the year – “nonfungible token” or NFT for short. Say what? 

 

Quick. Use nonfungible token in a sentence. Can't? Neither could I. It means: “A unique digital certificate, registered in a blockchain, that is used to record ownership of an asset such as an artwork or a collectible.” Oh, that clears up everything, right? (https://www.newser.com/story/313753/usage-of-collins-word-of-the-year-jumped-11000.html)

 

Staying with words, there is a major battle going on in social media: “Is It Reddi-Wip or Reddi-Whip?” Apparently, some people with too much spare time are concerned about the mysterious letter 'h'. Well, Redi-Wip has never been spelled with an 'h'. 

“The claim that Reddi-Wip used to be spelled with an 'h' is likely based on people misremembering the spelling of this product due to the fact that 'whipped cream' is commonly (and correctly) spelled with an 'h'.” See the original ad for the product in a 1959 issue of Life Magazine: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/is-it-reddi-wip-or-reddi-whip/.    

 

You know, it's important to keep that Reddi-Wip cold. A guy in Australia may have come up with a way to do that. Unfortunately, he was ticketed by police for his effort. “Police in Australia said a man was cited for driving without a license and officers confiscated his unusual vehicle -- a motorized cooler.”

 

This is is a pretty ingenious vehicle. “It's a blue cooler on a metal platform with four wheels, an engine, and handlebars arranged to indicate the cooler serves as the small vehicle's seat.” (https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/11/22/australia-motorized-cooler-driving-without-a-license-Kerang-Victoria-Australia/6181637608668/)

 

While Thanksgiving means a big dinner topped off by Reddi-Wip on pumpkin pie, there's also another tradition to consider – watching NFL football. This means more to some fans than others. The watching could lead to fighting. 

 

“A recent study ranked the NFL fanbases most likely to start a fight. USBets.com reports Eagles fans are the most likely to both start and win a fight among all thirty-two NFL fanbases. The Las Vegas Raiders' fan base ranked second on both lists. 

The study also included the fanbases most likely to stop a fight (Seattle Seahawks) and lose a fight (Indianapolis Colts).”

 

As you might surmise, fans of the Detroit Lions are so disheartened by simply watching their team they have no energy left to make any of the lists. See all the results at: https://www.usbets.com/nfl-fans-most-likely-to-fight/.

 

If you did get in a fight and need to repent, an Alabama man has a church for you. It's too small for would-be combatants to swing their arms. “A man is seeking a Guinness World Records title for the world's smallest church. It measures four feet wide, five feet deep, nineteen feet from the ground to the steeple, and is seven square feet smaller than the current world record holder.”

 

Although the church fits only three people, couples have been married there. I guess the best man or maid of honor has to stand outside and listen through the window. (https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2021/11/23/Guinness-World-Records-smallest-church/3571637696799/)

 

Finally, with Christmas on the horizon, it's a good time to point the kidlings to the Neff Zone Holidays web page at https://www.neffzone.com/holidays/. They might have fun with an interactive activity called the Elf Name Generator. 

 

“As Santa prepares gifts for children all around the world, he also needs a lot of help from his elves. Get in the holiday spirit with our elf name generator. The elf name generator will give kids a unique name based on the personality trait they choose.” 

 

I tried this and used “silly boy” as my description. My elf name then came up as “Snappy Pickletoes .” I don't know what that means, but it's unique. 

 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.