WACKY AND WONDERFUL

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- APRIL 27, 2024

With so much of the news dealing with serious things, it's refreshing to take a step back and peruse items that are more lighthearted. These nuggets often produce reactions ranging from a chortle to a sheesh. Sometimes there's even a yecch in the mix. 

 

An item that might elicit all three reactions involves the appearance of cicadas. “As the nation prepares for trillions of red-eyed bugs known as periodical cicadas to emerge, it’s worth noting that they’re not just annoying, noisy pests — if prepared properly, they can also be tasty to eat.”

 

A bug expert in New Orleans has a recipe. “It's a green salad with apple, almonds, blueberry vinaigrette — and roasted cicadas. Fried cicada nymphs are dressed on top with a warm mixture of creole mustard and soy sauce.” (https://apnews.com/article/eating-bugs-cicadas-insects-new-orleans-menu-37a91e0edbaa25965fe2d4d75ad7e0f8)

 

If you consume this salad, there may be a downside. Every seventeen years you'll have an urge to emerge from your abode and annoy your neighbors with a high decibel cacophony. You go first, I'll hold your beer. 

 

Speaking of beer, a man in Belgium has an interesting affliction. “He has been acquitted of drunk-driving because he has auto-brewery syndrome (ABS), an extremely rare condition whereby the body produces alcohol.” 

 

This is not a common disease, but it would be difficult to live with. “A clinical biologist said people with ABS produced the same type of alcohol as found in alcoholic drinks. Patients can present with symptoms consistent with alcohol intoxication such as slurred speech, stumbling, loss of motor functions, dizziness and belching.” (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/22/belgian-man-whose-body-makes-its-own-alcohol-cleared-of-drunk-driving)

 

Trains are in the news, but in two different ways – fast and slow. The fast train will be right here in the United States. 

 

“Brightline West officially broke ground on the nation's first true high-speed rail system which will connect Las Vegas to Southern California. The 218-mile system will run zero emission, fully electric trains capable of speeds of 200 miles per hour.” It's sort of like flying without ever leaving the ground. (https://www.brightlinewest.com/media/press-releases/2024/brightline-west-breaks-ground-on-americas-first-high-speed-rail-project-connecting-las-vegas-to-southern-california)

 

This American train is a meant for folks who want to get to their destination in the fastest way possible. In Germany they have a different concept of how to best utilize high-sped rail. 

 

“German trains will soon feature new cabins designed for greater privacy as part of a multi-billion euro revamp. State railway operator Deutsche Bahn (DB) has unveiled plans for compartments with frosted glass where travellers can take private video calls or ‘cuddle’. Dubbed ‘knutsch-abteil’ (‘smooch cabins’), they will be rolled out on DB’s Intercity Express (ICE) high-speed trains.” (https://www.euronews.com/travel/2024/04/22/smooch-cabins-german-trains-will-soon-have-private-cabins-with-frosted-glass)

 

If people on high-speed trains get hungry, they're going to need something that can be prepared in a big hurry. According to All Recipes, a new product could be just the ticket. 

 

“Mac and cheese usually comes from a famous blue box, but that blue box has some interesting new competition from Rice-A-Roni. It's called Mac-A-Roni. The four new cheesy pasta varieties include Creamy Cheddar, Creamy White Cheddar,   Three Cheese, and White Cheddar.” All Recipes adds: “It will be interesting to see if they can give (blue box) Mac and Cheese a run for its money.” (https://www.allrecipes.com/rice-a-roni-new-mac-a-roni-dinners-8636844)

 

If you want to walk off the calories from that mac attack, taking your dog for a stroll is a good option. When it comes to naming dogs, it turns out that the most inventive monikers may be those from the middle ages. “You might think of your dog as the best dog of all. One medieval dog owner actually called theirs that. The dog’s name was “Beste-of-all,” taking into account the old time spelling. (https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/medieval-dog-names)

 

The names were decidedly more clever than Fido or Rover. “Some were complimentary: Amyable, Harmeles, Trusty, Joliboye, Pretyman. Some were humorous: Lewde, Lusty, Ribawde, and Nameles. Hunting dogs could be: Bryngehome, Fyndewell, and Goodynowze.” If you want to get in on the fun, go to the “Name Your Hound” generator at: https://allmannerofhounds.com/.

 

Finally, since it's (supposedly) springtime, birds are beginning to make their return to local lakes. One of those species is the seagull. If you're familiar with the distinctive sound they make, you may be interested to know that in Europe they have a Seagull Screeching Championship. This year it was won by a nine year-old boy. (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-68874762)

 

Why seagull screeching? “He originally started doing seagull impressions after being nipped by one while he was eating a tuna sandwich. He wanted to become 'Seagull Boy', like when Peter Parker became Spider-Man after being bitten by a spider.” 

 

You can hear the winning screech at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkTXY-TMQNc. A judge noted: "He managed to include several call types in his performance and each of them resembled a real seagull call in a most impressive way.” 

 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.