YOU CAN'T MAKE UP THIS STUFF
THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF
CADILLAC NEWS -- AUGUST 23, 2025
Well kidlings, it's time for another round of "You Can't Make Up This Stuff," the game based on my brother Big Rob's theory that reality is stranger than any fiction. As usual, we begin with news from Rob's stomping grounds of Flint.
Flint has endured some rough times, so it's nice to hear something positive for a change. “Flint is celebrating a population increase of seventy-six residents, according to the latest estimation from the U.S. Census Bureau. The growth marks the first time in many years that the city has seen a growth in population.”
That may seem like a small increase, but it represents a new vibe for the city. According to the mayor: "This is not just a number; it’s a signal that people are believing in Flint’s future again." (https://www.abc12.com/news/local/u-s-census-bureau-estimate-shows-a-population-growth-in-flint/article_4a773972-4a94-4136-b162-04793085e97d.html)
Part of that population increase involves teenagers, but did you know that teenagers did not exist until recently? “For most of human history, you were either a child or an adult. The word 'teenager,' first entered the lexicon in 1913. It wasn’t until decades later that it took on its current significance. The ages spanning 13 to 19 are formative no matter what you call them.” (https://historyfacts.com/us-history/fact/teenagers-didnt-exist-until-the-20th-century/)
Something else that did not exist until recently is an artificial tongue. “Scientists have created the first artificial tongue that can sense and identify flavors entirely in liquid environments — mimicking how human taste buds work. The device identified four basic tastes — sweet, sour, salty and bitter — with 72.5 percent to 87.5 percent accuracy, and with 96. percent accuracy for drinks with multiple flavor profiles like coffee.” Read the science behind this at: https://www.livescience.com/technology/worlds-first-artificial-tongue-tastes-and-learns-like-a-real-human-organ.
While something like the artificial tongue is brand new, something that harkens to a bygone day is ending. “AOL dial-up is ending on September 30. It marks the end of the service that was synonymous with the internet for many since its launch in 1991. The AOL Dialer software and AOL Shield browser will be discontinued.” That screechy sound that signified a dial-up connection will be no more. (https://www.theverge.com/news/757194/aol-dial-up-is-dead)
If you plan to get off the internet for a while and opt for a summer vacation in the great outdoors, there's a section of the country you may want to avoid. “In the Southwest and West in the next few months, get ready for what could be the fright of a lifetime. In California, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico and Texas, tens of thousands of tarantulas will be crawling out of their burrows in search of females – making for a fascinating, if a little creepy – display. It’s tarantula mating season.”
In case you need to be told that tarantulas are not lovable, experts offer this advice. “It’s a wild animal – it doesn’t want to be picked up and loved and hugged. If you were to handle one, they could bite you.” (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2025/07/28/tarantula-mating-season-is-coming-brace-for-hordes-of-them/85276029007/)
As if mating tarantulas isn't enough “nature” for you, how about some Frankenstein rabbits? “People in northern Colorado have been reporting sightings this month of wild rabbits with black horns and tentacles on their faces. The rabbits appeared to have black quills or black toothpicks and a scabbiesh-looking growth over their face. These dark growths are most likely caused by a virus that tends to pop up in the summer in states like Colorado, South Dakota, Minnesota, Kansas, Iowa and Texas.”
If you're camping and you hear cries for help echoing through the forest, you might think someone has encountered a tarantula or Frankenstein rabbit. That could be the situation, but it also could be something else. “A 'karaoke camper' has been rescued, though he apparently didn't need to be rescued from anything other than arguably questionable taste in music.”
Here's what happened. “A Search and Rescue team in British Columbia was engaged in training exercises when a 911 call came in about someone making repeated cries for help. Rescuers soon came across the person in supposed distress: a man camping by himself, belting out hits by the Canadian rock group Nickelback. The camper was singing his heart out to the trees, blissfully unaware that his tent-side concert was an accidental distress signal.” (https://www.newser.com/story/372900/rescuers-respond-to-911-calls-find-guy-singing-nickelback-songs.html)
Finally, good news for everyone. Whether you're camping in the woods or just walking your dog around your neighborhood, counting your steps just got easier. “How many should you aim for if you want to live a longer and healthier life? New research suggests 7,000 is a good target.”
Why seven thousand instead of the widely used number of ten thousand? "Seven thousand steps tends to be the range where there seems to be diminishing return on investment for increasing more steps. Data collected from more than 160,000 adults around the world on the link between step count and a variety of health outcomes. Among their findings: Taking seven thousand steps per day was associated with nearly a fifty percent lower risk of dying compared with the bare minimum of two thousand steps.”
Now, if you already do 10,000 steps per day it's fine to keep up that pace. “It definitely doesn't do harm if you go beyond 7,000. For the folks who are finding it harder to get there, 7,000 could be a really realistic target." (https://www.npr.org/2025/08/14/nx-s1-5501610/counting-steps-health-fitness-tracker)
As far as I can tell, there's no data that suggests dancing to the musical meanderings of a karaoke camper counts toward your daily step total.
Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.
