THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- MAY 31, 2025

When it comes o the burning issues of the day, I have some questions. Luckily, I've been able to ferret out the answers. Many of these were once head-scratchers, but they vex me no more. 

For instance, why do hot dogs come in packs of ten but buns in eight? “Before about 1940, shoppers would simply ask the butcher for the amount of sausages they needed and would be charged by the pound (which equaled ten hot dogs). In modern bakehouses buns are typically baked in clusters of four in pans designed to produce eight rolls apiece.” Hence, the imbalance. 

Do not despair. According to AllRecipes.com, there may be light at the end of the tunnel. “ In 2022, Heinz and Wonder Bread partnered to solve this very issue in Canada by brokering a partnership to create ten-packs of buns. Maybe a similar deal is on the horizon for the United States.” (https://www.allrecipes.com/hot-dog-bun-mystery-11740914)

If hot dogs are not your thing, how about hamburgers? FoodandWine.com has compiled a list of every state's favorite hamburger style. “Chicken burgers were the most popular in California, Texas, Florida, and Kentucky. Veggie burgers were the go-to in New York, Colorado, and Wisconsin. Turkey Burgers were the top order in Arkansas, Virginia, and North Carolina. Cheeseburgers nabbed Iowa, Michigan, and Maryland. A classic burger was the most popular in Alaska, Hawaii, Oregon, and Nevada.” (https://www.foodandwine.com/most-popular-burger-per-state-11739087)

Whether hot dogs or hamburgers are being served, what beer should you bring to a picnic? VinePair.com offers some advice. “The time has come to build your seasonal roster of excellent beers for picnics. The chefs we consulted generally leaned toward crisp and bright beers.”

Locally, it's easy to find the top choice (Miller High Life) and the number three finisher (Pabst Blue Ribbon). “High Life is known for its effervescence, crisp light flavors, and subtle sweetness. PBR is so good, crisp, and clean. This beer goes great with all types meats.” (https://vinepair.com/articles/best-beers-for-summer-bbq/)

Do you want to be a fashion plate at a picnic? If so, you'll want to be a part of Sardine Girl Summer. “There's a glimmery new icon swimming into your summer: A sardine. Apparel and products featuring the petite fish are all over the internet right now.” The products include beaded sardine bags, sardine dresses, sardine tees, and sardine earrings. (https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/05/21/sardine-girl-summer/83741297007/)

An outdoor sport can liven up any picnic. Do you want to duplicate something really crazy? “It’s been described as the world’s most dangerous race, and it’s certainly one of the most ridiculous – a 200-yard dash after a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese. To win, all you have to do is chase it down a grassy hill and cross the finish line before anyone else; however, that’s much easier said than done. The hill is so steep that it could give you vertigo on the start line and there is absolutely no guarantee that you will make it down to the bottom in one piece. The hill is absurdly steep: an initial drop of sixty degrees with an average of forty-five degree incline.” (https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/25/sport/cheese-rolling-coopers-hill-england-spt-intl)

This year's race was won by a German guy for a second time in a row. Tom Kopke said he risked his life to win and he shut off his brain and went for it. See a video and photos of the race at: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czj4vw0m3lzo. 

Perhaps all you want to do at a picnic is relax and maybe watch some nature. If so, do you want to observe the world's most successful hunters? It's easier to do this than you might think. “Wolves succeed in about only twenty percent of their attempts to catch prey, whereas lions enjoy a success rate of around thirty percent when working as a pack. Those numbers, though respectable, pale in comparison to the success rate of the mighty dragonfly, which catches about ninety-five percent of the prey it pursues — making it the world’s most successful hunter. These insects do all their hunting in midair, making the feat even more impressive.” (https://interestingfacts.com/fact/dragonflies-worlds-most-successful-hunters/)

Finally, do want to be the main source of hilarity at the picnic? If so, you may need a quiver full of dad jokes. Go to DadJokes.com and sign up. You'll get a new dad joke in your email every day. This week, one was: “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” Feel free to laugh or groan. 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.