YOU CAN'T MAKE UP THIS STUFF

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- NOVEMBER 15, 2025

Well kidlings, it's time for another round of "You Can't Make Up This Stuff," the game based on my brother Big Rob's theory that reality is stranger than any fiction. As usual, we begin with news from Rob's stomping grounds of Flint.  

 

Something happening in the Flint area (and most of Southeast Michigan) could be headed in our direction. “Dozens of reports of invasive jumping worms across Michigan’s Lower Peninsula are raising concerns about damages to the state’s natural ecosystems. They can flip themselves a foot off the ground. Invasive jumping worms have various common names in the U.S., such as Alabama jumpers, disco worms, Jersey wrigglers, crazy worms, snake worms and wood eels.”

 

Why should we be concerned? “The biggest risks are to any ecosystems that require the protective layer of leaves and mulch, such as what is found in Michigan’s forests. Many plants, fungi and wildlife are potentially at risk.” Does this sound like any places in our neck of the woods? (https://www.mlive.com/environment/2025/11/invasive-jumping-worms-pose-growing-threat-to-michigans-ecosystems.html)

 

College basketball is underway and Florida has a unique player in 7-foot-9 center Olivier Rioux. Rioux is the tallest person to ever play college basketball. Rioux, a 19-year-old redshirt freshman from Canada, is also the world’s tallest teenager.” (https://apnews.com/article/olivier-rioux-debut-tallest-teenager-e5ffa5837fc989abde233fa2bdc8f555)

 

Speaking of big things, pretty soon a giant may be flying over your head. “ A little-known company based in Boulder, Colorado, is pursuing an ambitious, borderline outlandish goal: creating the world’s largest airplane. When completed, the incredibly long 108-meter plane (roughly the length of an NFL football field) is expected to have a wingspan of over 260 feet and could offer twelve times the cargo space of Boeing C-17 Globemaster III. It would also be roughly 1.5 times the size of the largest commercial airplane currently in operation.” 

 

Is there a need for such a thing? “Radia CEO Mark Lundstrom told Popular Science that he views his company’s behemoth as a platform to move the world’s biggest things to the hardest-to-reach locations.” Everything from wind turbines to oversized military gear are good examples. (https://www.popsci.com/technology/worlds-largest-airplane/)

 

As long as we're looking skyward, birds seem to be in the news. For example, scientists have discovered a link between woodpeckers and pro tennis players. “Woodpeckers really know how to punch above their weight. The woodland birds can attack a tree at about fifteen miles per hour with their powerful beaks. To achieve this, woodpeckers essentially turn themselves into hammers, by bracing their head, neck, abdomen, and tail muscles to hold their bodies completely rigid when they pound into wood. Like tennis stars grunting to sync and stabilize their core and whack a ball, woodpeckers also synchronize their breathing with their movement when they strike wood. The findings are detailed in a study published today in the Journal of Experimental Biology.” (https://www.popsci.com/environment/woodpeckers-grunt/)

 

A bird is also a centerpiece in an ongoing court case. This involves a duck and a roller coaster. “A Florida woman is suing SeaWorld Orlando after being struck in the face by a duck while riding its fastest roller coaster. The lawsuit says the woman lost consciousness and suffered permanent bodily injury, mental anguish, and more in the incident. 

 

The coaster reaches speeds up to 73 mph and is up to 200 feet in height. “The suit goes on to claim the park created a 'zone of danger for bird strikes' due to the location in a known territory of waterfowls in the area.”  (https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/experience/theme-parks/2025/10/30/seaworld-orlando-duck-strike-mako-roller-coaster-lawsuit/86983916007/)

 

With Thanksgiving upcoming, turkeys are another newsworthy bird. “Butterball's Turkey Talk-Line has been a lifesaving resource for home cooks who need expert advice on everything from cooking to thawing to preparing this holiday feast staple.”

 

However, sometimes the questions can get a bit odd. For instance, a guy wondered about cooking oil: “Would the oil from the chainsaw he used to cut the turkey with render the bird inedible?” Then there was a lady who wanted a clean bird. “ "She asked if you could  wash the turkey and make sure that it was defrosted at the same time by putting it in a dishwasher.” Read More: https://www.tastingtable.com/2019205/butterball-turkey-helpline-strangest-question-thanksgiving/. 

 

If you plan to travel on Thanksgiving, there's a place you may want to avoid. There's museum tour in Germany where a grumpy guide has a mission: “I try to make them (the tourists) feel as ignorant as possible.” 

 

In spite of this, the tours are a big hit. “Over the course of the 70-minute walk, the ponytailed art historian points fingers into visitors’ faces, tells them off for checking their phones or sitting down, and berates them for their general ignorance, all while stomping through the palatial corridors of the Kunstpalast at breakneck speed.”

(https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/nov/01/german-museum-grumpy-guide-kunstpalast-dusseldorf)

 

Finally, some folks begin their Christmas shopping this time of year. If you have a sports fan on your list, perhaps some memorabilia would be appreciated. Just go to SCP Auctions at: https://catalogs.scpauctions.com/auctions/scp-auctions-inc/2025-fall-premier-20363. 

 

Just be sure to bring your wallet. You can snag a 2025 MLB World Series home run baseball for a mere $200,000. For the more budget conscious, a 1958 Mickey Mantle baseball card is just $2,800. Bids are now open. Good luck!

 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.