NOTHING

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- APRIL 18, 2026

There's a scene in an episode of the old “Seinfeld” television series where Jerry and George pitch the idea for a new show to a group of network executives. When asked what the show would be about, Jerry and George respond with one word – nothing. 

See, the show would be about the little things that occur during everyday life. No earth shaking events. No convoluted story lines. Nothing. See a video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUWiv5r_CZw.

I figure if “nothing” is good enough for “Seinfeld” on television then it's good enough for me in this column. So, in that spirit, what follows are things that are fine to know but not required knowledge. 

Are you hungry? A sure sign is one of thirteen silly words from WordSmarts.com – borborygmus. “Everyone has experienced borborygmus. This technical-sounding word is perhaps a more polite description for what you might call tummy rumbles.”

A dozen more words at: https://wordsmarts.com/bizarre-words/. 

This week was the anniversary of the opening of the first McDonald's, so some borborygmus reactions might be normal. However, you won't be able to “enjoy” something that never caught on. “The chain’s founder, Ray Kroc, proposed a menu item of his own: the Hula Burger. It was made with a thick slice of grilled pineapple and American cheese on a bun.” Another meatless option debuted at the same time and is still available today – the Filet-O-Fish. (https://www.delish.com/food/a70847604/mcdonalds-hula-burger-history/)

When it comes to sandwiches, a writer on AllRecipes.com calls a Pittsburgh creation the best in the world. “The Pittsburgh sandwich was created during the Great Depression by Joe Primanti. Legend has it, one winter night someone dropped off a truckload of potatoes, so Primanti fried them up and, after customers started asking for fries, he plopped them right on the sandwich—along with two slices of tomato, tangy slaw, provolone cheese, and grilled meat on Italian bread. Now, nearly 100 years later, Primanti Bros. and its sandwiches are loved by locals, visitors, and celebrities alike.” (https://www.allrecipes.com/what-is-pittsburgh-sandwich-11940777)

If you finish off a Pittsburgh sandwich, it might be a good time to burn off some calories by taking your dog for a walk. We all want our pets to be happy and having a long lifespan is a key. “What if you are a first-time dog owner looking for a specific breed that's known to have a long lifespan? In fact, those breeds of dogs do exist.” The five breeds that live the longest are: Chihuahua, Yorkshire Terrier, Australian Cattle Dog, Dachshund, and Toy Poodle. See all the breeds at: https://www.marthastewart.com/longest-living-dog-breeds-11947557. 

Some people avoid dogs because they are afraid of getting bitten. Oddly, dog bites are not as dangerous as an “animal” bite from another species. “Human bites are in fact even more dangerous than other animal bites, as they’re more likely to become infected as a result of that bacteria. The human mouth isn’t exactly clean. It contains about 700 different kinds of microbes, including bacteria and fungi, some of which are helpful — but not so helpful that you’d ever want to be bitten by another person.”

(https://interestingfacts.com/fact/human-bites-are-one-of-worlds-most-dangerous-bites/)

If bites are a concern, you want to avoid a New York cemetery. “A New York State cemetery may be home to nearly 5.6 million ground-nesting bees, according to a new study. The colony is one of the largest ever recorded and likely one of the oldest.  

Though bees are often depicted as hive dwellers, the vast majority of species of these insects in the U.S.—around 70 percent—are in fact ground-nesting bees, or bees that burrow in the ground.”

Apparently, although this cemetery is home to a huge colony, research points to the importance of cemeteries as habitat for ground-nesting bees. “The solitary bees are totally underappreciated, but they’re fascinating creatures.” (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-just-discovered-5-6-million-bees-under-a-new-york-cemetery/)

If the weather cooperates, this is the time of year we need those bees to pollinate our gardens. Chowhound.com suggests a unique way to start the process. “If you already have an extra laundry basket or two lying around, this could be the perfect hack to start experimenting with your very own mini garden. Laundry baskets are not only sturdy, they're also made to be carried around, making them easy enough to move from indoors to your back patio once your seedlings are hardy enough to survive outdoors. Laundry baskets' latticework sides also allow for airflow, which can help prevent the buildup of moisture that can cause root rot and mold growth.” (https://www.chowhound.com/2144910/laundry-basket-easy-garden-hack/)

Egad! That laundry basket idea is cool. However, it merits just one exclamation point. “It’s easy to go overboard with exclamation points. There are times when it’s appropriate to use one, but overindulging will cause the exclamation point to lose its punch.” (https://wordsmarts.com/exclamation-point/)

WordSmarts advises: “Use exclamation points extremely sparingly. They are useful for conveying legitimate feelings of shock and awe. It’s perfectly okay to use an exclamation point for emphasis. That single punctuation mark will deliver the bang you need it to.” 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.