FOURTH FLAPDOODLE

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- JUNE 27, 2026

With the Fourth of July holiday on the horizon, it's a good time to get your flapdoodle in order. These would be safe conversation items that are interesting and innocuous at the same time. By showing that you are versed in the field of flapdoodlology you

will establish yourself as a master flapdoodlist. 

A place to begin is something that scientists can't explain. “When you’re walking down a crowded street and trying to avoid bumping into other people you’re probably going to turn left. As for why, scientists aren’t sure yet. There seems to be a real counterclockwise bias in pedestrian behavior, regardless of age, gender, and social dynamics.” (https://gizmodo.com/pedestrians-prefer-to-veer-left-and-scientists-have-no-idea-why-2000771960)

This occurs about eighty percent of the time. The findings could have significant implications for crowd control. For instance, this leftward bias “may have far-reaching consequences for everyday pedestrian traffic. These behavioral patterns should be of interest for designing everyday spaces and for efficient evacuation plans.” 

One place to observe this might be at a public park. This brings up an interesting fact about parks. “the Trust for Public Land found that every dollar invested in parks and recreation returns, on average, at least three dollars in local economic benefits each year, stemming from reduced stormwater treatment costs; lower healthcare costs; improved public health outcomes; consumer savings on fitness and recreation; rising tax revenues, and a boost in public-private partnerships, among other things.” (https://www.pl.org/parks-undeniable-roi-report)

Another place to observe the leftward veer may be at a grocery store. You probably use a wheeled carrier in which to put you groceries as you shop, but where you live determines what you call that thing. “In much of the U.S., the term 'cart' is sraightforward and succinct. In New England, 'carriage' is the preferred term. Throughout Appalachia and the Deep South, you’ll likely hear 'buggy' used.” (https://wordsmarts.com/everyday-items-different-names/)

When it comes to groceries, one “old time” food could soon be in short supply. “Cottage cheese has gone uber the last few years, as people have suddenly become aware of its versatility, as well as its high-protein, low-sugar benefits. This dairy product is one of those grocery items that might be more difficult to find in 2026.” (https://www.tastingtable.com/2117224/cottage-cheese-harder-find-grocery-2026/)

While there may be a cottage cheese shortage, a brand new product is debuting just in time for holiday PB&J sandwiches – Welch's Four Berry Spread. “The brand just released a first-of-its-kind spread with four berries. It's the first time in thirty years that Welch's has offered a multi-fruit option on shelves. Its newest jarred creation is a mix of blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries.” I plan to pair this with (made in Detroit) Velvet peanut butter. (https://www.allrecipes.com/welchs-four-berry-spread-12000093)

Do you often include ranch dressing on your shopping list? If so, an odd phenomenon relates to the World Cup. “With several World Cup games being hosted in the United States this year, travelers from all over the globe are visiting to support their favorite soccer teams while discovering quintessential American cuisine in the process. Eager to bring their favorite dip back home, scores of fans are stowing bottles of ranch in their luggage.” The problem is that the big bottles are not TSA compliant.  

The alternative? “While TSA recommended packing large ranch bottles in checked bags, Kraft is proposing a different solution: Kraft TSA Compliant Ranch, which appears to essentially be several single-use packets that shouldn't violate any air travel rules — and doesn't require fans to be separated from the fan-favorite dip, even on the flight.” (https://people.com/kraft-teases-tsa-friendly-ranch-dressing-packets-after-world-cup-fans-obsess-over-condiment-12003313)

Those travelers will want to make sure they take all that ranch with them when they check out of their hotels. A flight attendant offers this advice so valuable things (like jewelry and salad dressing) are not left behind. Leave a shoe in your hotel room safe while traveling. The tip is intended to remind travelers that they may have other goods in the safe that need to be retrieved before checking out. Since you won’t leave without your shoes on, you’ll essentially be tricking yourself into checking the safe before departing.” (https://www.mentalfloss.com/live-smarter/travel/put-shoe-in-hotel-safe-travel-tip)

When it comes to traveling, here in Michigan that involves camping. Just be careful. This was not the case for a camper in California. “A visitor to a popular California campground accidentally dropped his sunglasses into a camp toilet and tried to retrieve them. It ended exactly the way you think it ended: Emergency crews had to fish him out. The visitor tumbled into the vault toilet. Luckily, first responders got him out in about fifteen minutes, and he was none the worse for wear, though Cal Fire did hose him down. And did he get the sunglasses? Unclear.” This brings up a quandary. Is there anything you own that if dropped into a pit toilet would cause you to consider diving in to retrieve it? (https://www.newser.com/story/391485/camp-visitor-is-rescued-from-a-toilet.html)

For some fun around the campfire, how about a quiz? “The star-spangled American flag—the iconic red, white and blue standard—is one of the most enduring symbols of the nation. How well do you know the history of the Stars and Stripes?” This is a ten question test at: https://apnews.com/article/america250-june-23-quiz-us-flag-state-stars-stripes. 

Finally, a star-spangled dad joke. “What did one flag say to the other? Nothing. It just waved.” 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.