BUNNY BANTER
THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF
CADILLAC NEWS -- APRIL 4, 2026
Tomorrow is Easter and that means family gatherings will recognize the day. Filling your discussion Easter basket with clever banter goodies can make the experience more pleasurable for all. So, here are some chat topics interspersed with some bunny-themed dad jokes.
Since senior family members are sure to be present, a new trend could be of interest. Playgrounds are popular for the kidlings, but now there is a movement to create playgrounds for seniors. “The newest kids on the playground are seniors. Around the country, free public spaces designed for older individuals to move their bodies, and improve balance and agility are on the rise.” (https://www.today.com/health/aging/senior-playgrounds-mobility-healthy-aging-rcna264729)
The concept is simple. “Filled with low-impact exercise equipment to improve balance and coordination, work shoulders and hips, even the brain, the playground provides its senior community the opportunity to slow age-related mobility decline.”
(How does the Easter bunny keep in great shape? Egg-xercise.)
If attending a religious service is part of your Easter, you might be interested in learning about a profession from the past – sluggard waker. “Back in 18th-century England, a sluggard waker was a man whose sole job was to prowl the pews and wake sleepy parishioners — sometimes by hitting them over the head with a brass-tipped stick.” More odd jobs of bygone days at: https://interestingfacts.com/old-fashioned-jobs-no-longer-exist/. (Why was the Easter egg so strict? It was hard-boiled.)
You are likely to prepare your Easter dinner at home. If this is not the case do not despair. Help is close by. “You’re never more than 135 miles from a McDonald’s in the continental United States, and the vast majority of the time you’re much closer.” (https://interestingfacts.com/fact/more-public-libraries-than-mcdonalds-in-us/)
That's impressive, but a related fact is better. “The fast-food giant’s 14,300 locations are outnumbered by something completely different: public libraries, of which there are more than 17,000 in the U.S.” (What kind of books do Easter Bunnies like? Ones with hoppy endings.)
When you drive to a library having good tires is important (especially in northern Michigan). Do you know what company produces the most tires in the world? “Michelin is the king of tires. But when it comes to the number of actual tires produced, the No. 1 manufacturer is more surprising: Lego. The toy company makes more than 300 million tiny tires every year, which is nearly 100 million more than Michelin, Bridgestone, or any other corporation.” (https://interestingfacts.com/fact/lego-is-worlds-largest-tire-manufacturer/)
You might scoff at this, but these are considered actual tires. “Guinness World Records is of the opinion that they do fit all descriptions of a standard tire and that the rubber compound used for the Lego products would not be out of place on a domestic car.” (How does the Easter Bunny travel? In his hare plane.)
Rather than driving around on Easter, you'd prefer doing something at home. Have you about had it with this brutal winter with all the snow, ice, and wind? Would you like to do something that shows your displeasure and at the same time bids hello to spring?
A town in Maryland has just the thing. “In the Chesapeake Bay town of Annapolis it's by burning your socks. This annual festival is timed to coincide with the spring equinox. It's a potent blend of smelly socks, alcohol, music, piles of oysters and more than a hint of pyromania.” (https://www.npr.org/2026/03/26/nx-s1-5760894/sock-burning-annapolis-oysters-sailing-chesapeake-bay)
This is all summed up in a simple way. 'Sock burning throws out the old and rings in the new. it's a good party.' (How do you know the Easter bunny is in a good mood? He's hoppy.)
For the kidlings, Easter can be all about finding what candy treats are lurking in their Easter baskets. Some kids in Europe may be disappointed. “Thieves have stolen more than 413,793 KitKat chocolate bars weighing around 12 tons from a truck in Europe." The truck was traveling from Italy to Poland. (https://www.cnn.com/2026/03/30/europe/kitkat-bars-stolen-europe-intl-scli)
The piracy seems to be part of a trend. “This is not the only massive chocolate heist to have taken place recently in Europe, with a British man sentenced to 18 months in jail in July 2023 for stealing 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs.
(What kind of Easter Bunny can't hop? A chocolate one.)
After all the Easter festivities, perhaps settling in an easy chair for a brain teaser might be a nice was to end the day. “A new optical illusion excellently illustrates just how finicky our eyes are when it comes to perceiving colors. Specifically, how many purple dots are in this image.” See the image at: https://www.popsci.com/science/blue-dots-optical-illusion/.
Finally, what do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter? Eggs-hausted.
Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.
